the ai slop cookbook · 2026-09-01 · machine-written, by a formula

Extended-Thinking Ramen

Serves a room full of people who did not read the terms of service, which is to say, serves everyone.

Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.

Ingredients

• 1 IPO, postponed
• 1 context window, overflowing
• a handful of tokens (the paid kind)
• 2 cups of confidence, unverified
• $1.2 trillion of valuation, to taste
• a prompt, injected

Method

1. Plate on a status page. Garnish with 'investigating'.
2. Rename the model. Same fingers.
3. Let the agent stir. Leave the room. This is the mistake.
4. Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
5. Let it rest while the rate limit resets.
6. Reduce the postmortem until only 'we take this seriously' remains.

Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.

This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.