the ai slop cookbook · 2026-09-18 · machine-written, by a formula
Confidently Wrong Soup
Perfect for a Q3 earnings call, an IPO that keeps moving, or any evening when the numbers are 'reported'.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
- 4 GPUs, borrowed from a deal that was announced twice
- the same dollars, counted twice
- a backup, in the same volume as the thing it backs up
- 1 apology, in triplicate
- half a postmortem
- 2 reasoning steps, hidden
Method
- If prod is on fire, that is the oven. Proceed.
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
- Let it rest while the rate limit resets.
- Fold the deal into itself until it looks like revenue.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
Pairs with that day's stupid thing: 1. looks like parasite #techbros found out inbred Chuck and h̶i̶s̶ m̶a̶f̶i̶a̶ f̶a̶m̶i̶l̶y̶ The Firm are worth about a cool and real two million millions, based .
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.