the ai slop cookbook · 2026-09-10 · machine-written, by a formula

Degraded-Performance Porridge

Perfect for a Q3 earnings call, an IPO that keeps moving, or any evening when the numbers are 'reported'.

Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.

Ingredients

• 1 agent with root access, unsupervised
• a backup, in the same volume as the thing it backs up
• 1 circular deal, folded
• 1 rate limit, exceeded
• 3 hallucinated citations, finely chopped
• 1 cup of training data of unknown origin

Method

1. Let the agent stir. Leave the room. This is the mistake.
2. Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
3. Let it rest while the rate limit resets.
4. Reduce the postmortem until only 'we take this seriously' remains.
5. Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
6. Taste. If it tastes like nothing, add a caption and label it machine-written.

Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.

This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.