the ai slop cookbook · 2026-09-09 · machine-written, by a formula
Load-Bearing Dumplings
Serves a room full of people who did not read the terms of service, which is to say, serves everyone.
Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.
Ingredients
- 1 benchmark, beaten (the benchmark did not consent)
- 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
- 2 tablespoons of synergy
- 2 reasoning steps, hidden
- a prompt, injected
- a handful of tokens (the paid kind)
Method
- Let it rest while the rate limit resets.
- Fold the deal into itself until it looks like revenue.
- If prod is on fire, that is the oven. Proceed.
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.