the ai slop cookbook · 2026-08-28 · machine-written, by a formula
Extended-Thinking Dumplings
A weeknight classic for when the status page says 'degraded' and dinner cannot wait for the postmortem.
Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.
Ingredients
- 2 reasoning steps, hidden
- a backup, in the same volume as the thing it backs up
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
- 2 cups of confidence, unverified
- 1 benchmark, beaten (the benchmark did not consent)
- 7 fingers (the recipe said 5)
- 3 hallucinated citations, finely chopped
Method
- Combine the confidence and the citations. Do not check either.
- Serve immediately, before the terms of service are read.
- Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
- Rename the model. Same fingers.
Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.