the ai slop cookbook · 2026-08-26 · machine-written, by a formula
Benchmark-Beating Curry
Perfect for a Q3 earnings call, an IPO that keeps moving, or any evening when the numbers are 'reported'.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- 1 apology, in triplicate
- half a postmortem
- 2 reasoning steps, hidden
- a pinch of 'as an AI language model'
- 1 agent with root access, unsupervised
- 1 vibe, coded
- $1.2 trillion of valuation, to taste
- 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
Method
- Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
- Rename the model. Same fingers.
- Combine the confidence and the citations. Do not check either.
- Serve immediately, before the terms of service are read.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.