the ai slop cookbook · 2026-08-22 · machine-written, by a formula
Degraded-Performance Soup
As an AI language model, I cannot taste, but I can be very sure. Here is a dish I am very sure about.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
- 7 fingers (the recipe said 5)
- $1.2 trillion of valuation, to taste
- 4 GPUs, borrowed from a deal that was announced twice
- salt, or whatever the model said salt was
- 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
Method
- Simmer the outage for 90 minutes, or until three providers are down at once.
- Preheat the data center to 'warm'.
- Season with a benchmark nobody asked for.
- Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.