the ai slop cookbook · 2026-07-18 · machine-written, by a formula
Extended-Thinking Dumplings
Serves a room full of people who did not read the terms of service, which is to say, serves everyone.
Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.
Ingredients
- 1 circular deal, folded
- 2 tablespoons of synergy
- 1 agent with root access, unsupervised
- 1 context window, overflowing
- three nines of uptime, aspirational
- 1 vibe, coded
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
Method
- Combine the confidence and the citations. Do not check either.
- Reduce the postmortem until only 'we take this seriously' remains.
- If prod is on fire, that is the oven. Proceed.
- Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
- Store leftovers in a volume the agent cannot delete. Good luck.
Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.