the ai slop cookbook · 2026-07-13 · machine-written, by a formula
Overfitted Salad
Inspired by a photo of a hand. The hand had seven fingers. The dish has more.
Serves: one bubble. Prep time: a press release. Cook time: five years, reported.
Ingredients
- 1 vibe, coded
- a pinch of 'as an AI language model'
- half a postmortem
- a backup, in the same volume as the thing it backs up
- 4 GPUs, borrowed from a deal that was announced twice
- 1 context window, overflowing
- 2 cups of confidence, unverified
Method
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
- Whisk the valuation until it holds a peak that nobody can see.
- Rename the model. Same fingers.
- Taste. If it tastes like nothing, add a caption and label it machine-written.
- Preheat the data center to 'warm'.
- Fold the deal into itself until it looks like revenue.
- Reduce the postmortem until only 'we take this seriously' remains.
Serving size: one prompt. Servings per container: until the cap.
Not food. Not advice. Written by a formula from fixed lists, never by a model and never by a chef. Do not cook this; do not add glue to anything.