the ai slop cookbook · 2026-07-05 · machine-written, by a formula
Confidently Wrong Risotto
Perfect for a Q3 earnings call, an IPO that keeps moving, or any evening when the numbers are 'reported'.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- a handful of tokens (the paid kind)
- 1 status page, 'degraded'
- 1 IPO, postponed
- 1 fact-check, by the named publisher
- 3 hallucinated citations, finely chopped
- 2 tablespoons of synergy
Method
- Let the agent stir. Leave the room. This is the mistake.
- Count the fingers. Count again. Serve anyway.
- Store leftovers in a volume the agent cannot delete. Good luck.
- Taste. If it tastes like nothing, add a caption and label it machine-written.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.