the ai slop cookbook · 2026-06-28 · machine-written, by a formula

Degraded-Performance Porridge

As an AI language model, I cannot taste, but I can be very sure. Here is a dish I am very sure about.

Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.

Ingredients

• salt, or whatever the model said salt was
• 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
• the same dollars, counted twice
• 1 rate limit, exceeded
• a handful of tokens (the paid kind)
• a backup, in the same volume as the thing it backs up

Method

1. Retire the source that went quiet. Revive it at startup. Serve.
2. Fold the deal into itself until it looks like revenue.
3. Season with a benchmark nobody asked for.
4. Count the fingers. Count again. Serve anyway.
5. Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.

Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.

This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.