the ai slop cookbook · 2026-06-24 · machine-written, by a formula
Confidently Wrong Curry
Perfect for a Q3 earnings call, an IPO that keeps moving, or any evening when the numbers are 'reported'.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- 1 apology, in triplicate
- 1 rate limit, exceeded
- $1.2 trillion of valuation, to taste
- 1 context window, overflowing
- 3 hallucinated citations, finely chopped
- half a postmortem
Method
- If prod is on fire, that is the oven. Proceed.
- Count the fingers. Count again. Serve anyway.
- Plate on a status page. Garnish with 'investigating'.
- Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
- Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.