the ai slop cookbook · 2026-06-22 · machine-written, by a formula
Extended-Thinking Ramen
A weeknight classic for when the status page says 'degraded' and dinner cannot wait for the postmortem.
Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.
Ingredients
- 1 circular deal, folded
- a prompt, injected
- salt, or whatever the model said salt was
- 2 tablespoons of synergy
- 1 IPO, postponed
- 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
Method
- Plate on a status page. Garnish with 'investigating'.
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
- Simmer the outage for 90 minutes, or until three providers are down at once.
- Taste. If it tastes like nothing, add a caption and label it machine-written.
- Combine the confidence and the citations. Do not check either.
Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.