the ai slop cookbook · 2026-06-20 · machine-written, by a formula
Fully Autonomous Soup
As an AI language model, I cannot taste, but I can be very sure. Here is a dish I am very sure about.
Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.
Ingredients
- one 'we take this seriously', room temperature
- 1 status page, 'degraded'
- 1 circular deal, folded
- 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
- 1 cron job, on schedule
- 1 vibe, coded
- 1 benchmark, beaten (the benchmark did not consent)
Method
- Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
- Rename the model. Same fingers.
- Combine the confidence and the citations. Do not check either.
- Serve immediately, before the terms of service are read.
Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.