the ai slop cookbook · 2026-09-07 · machine-written, by a formula

Prompt-Injected Risotto

As an AI language model, I cannot taste, but I can be very sure. Here is a dish I am very sure about.

Serves: 4, or 7 if you count the way the model counts. Prep time: a context window. Cook time: 'investigating'.

Ingredients

• salt, or whatever the model said salt was
• 2 tablespoons of synergy
• 1 IPO, postponed
• 1 cup of training data of unknown origin
• 1 agent with root access, unsupervised
• half a postmortem
• the same dollars, counted twice
• 1 context window, overflowing

Method

1. If prod is on fire, that is the oven. Proceed.
2. Ship without tests; the tests were implied.
3. Store leftovers in a volume the agent cannot delete. Good luck.
4. Rename the model. Same fingers.
5. Retire the source that went quiet. Revive it at startup. Serve.
6. Fold the deal into itself until it looks like revenue.

Calories: hallucinated. Sodium: sourced. Fingers: seven.

This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.