the ai slop cookbook · 2026-08-02 · machine-written, by a formula
Extended-Thinking Smoothie
A weeknight classic for when the status page says 'degraded' and dinner cannot wait for the postmortem.
Serves: the whole status page. Prep time: 9 seconds. Cook time: the length of a postmortem.
Ingredients
- the same dollars, counted twice
- 2 cups of confidence, unverified
- salt, or whatever the model said salt was
- 1 fact-check, by the named publisher
- $1.2 trillion of valuation, to taste
- half a postmortem
Method
- Let it rest while the rate limit resets.
- Reduce the postmortem until only 'we take this seriously' remains.
- Wait for the model to apologize. It will. Twice.
- Taste. If it tastes like nothing, add a caption and label it machine-written.
- Season with a benchmark nobody asked for.
- Announce the dish at $10 billion. Deliver it 'reported'.
Vitamins: none the model could name without inventing one. Iron: the servers.
This is a joke about AI-generated recipes, made by lists and a date. Nothing here is edible, tested, or true. Especially the fingers.